Before my ADHD diagnosis I was caught in a cycle of inspiration, implementation, failure and giving up. I banged my head against the “should” wall sporadically, forgetting how much it hurt the first time, telling myself that I could find a way through if I just tried harder. More post-it notes! More reminders! A better system! More reprimands. More shame.
Advice predicated on a typical brain is toxic for me. Self-help books and well-intentioned suggestions from neurotypical friends and teachers have taught me that I am faulty and incompetent. As Jessica McCabe says, “if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”.
After a lifetime of falling from trees I listened to other fish and learned how to swim.
I now have a healthy relationship with my brain. Instead of coercing it, I refer any advice to it for approval. Here is some of the advice that has ended up on the rejection pile:
Advice: Go for an early-morning run
Rationale: It is easier to get out of door first thing and sets you up for the day.
My brain’s verdict: Rejected.
You do your best work in the morning so don’t waste that time. Exercise is for the afternoon when I am foggy and need a boost. Also, if you don’t open your laptop straight away you may get distracted and struggle to get down to work.My brain’s verdict:
Advice: Establish a 9-5 routine
Rationale: This enables you to plan and have work-life balance.
My brain’s verdict: Rejected.
You hate routine and your focus varies through the day. Sometimes I need connection, fun, exercise or sleep to reset and this isn’t always predictable. Sometimes I want to translate on a rainy Saturday. As a bonus, your lack of routine means you can be flexible for clients.
Advice: Create an office space
Rationale: It puts you in the right frame of mind for work
Shop at Aldi.
Rationale: You save money
