ADHD affects executive function, memory, focus, time management and so much more. But for me, in the decades prior to diagnosis, the corrosive impact on my self-esteem was infinitely more damaging. Conversely, nothing has had a more positive impact on my self-worth than learning that my challenges were normal and taking pride in the hard work I had put into overcoming them.
Every lost key, every scolding, every abandoned project, every mistake, every unfinished course, every missed bus, every missed opportunity, every forgotten assignment, every masked trait, every task reminder, every unfollowed instruction… all of these tiny bullets are added to the inner critic’s arsenal and deployed in her daily offensive until apathy is the only retreat.
There are lesser-known aspects too. I’ll let you into a little secret: I wet the bed until I was 11 years old. This experience was among the most traumatic in my life. The knowledge that this was down to my brain wiring and that my neurodivergent peers were likely waking up to urine-soaked sheets too would have gone some way to alleviate my shame.
Society’s denial of neurodiversity took a little girl who was intelligent, full of ideas, sociable, passionate about justice and curious about the world and turned her into a mute, static, introverted empty shell of a woman.
Yes, ADHD comes with difficulties. We are more likely to drop out of education, end up in prison, lose our jobs, become addicted to drugs, get divorced… It’s scary stuff. But I don’t believe that many of these outcomes are due to the condition itself. Rather, they are the result of our ignorance and failure to adapt.
So this Neurodiversity Celebration week, let's wage war on shame in our children.
