Today I've been listening to Sinead O'Connor. I have a very distinct childhood memory (one of very few, my memory is awful) of watching as she tore up a photograph of the Pope. She was filled with emotion and obviously didn't march to the same tune as everyone else. Clearly her emotion was getting in the way of her message. I could see the looks of disdain and mockery in the faces of the host, guests and audience members and it sparked something in me. I recognised those expressions. I knew what it was like to be right about something, to have the profound knowledge that what I was saying mattered and was just and to have those faces look back at me. I instinctively knew that it was bullying and felt really angry about it.
More recently I've had similar experiences when attempting to call attention to systemic discrimination and injustice in the provision of public services. I had the profound conviction that I knew things others had yet to see, that I had to make them aware, make my point. But my points were all clouded by emotion, jumbled words and passion for the subject. I have no doubt that the people at the Equality Commission or the ADHD Foundation or other organisations set up to help people like me were relieved when I stopped emailing them and calling them.
The problem is, being upset and emotional sometimes is an ADHD trait. So in ignoring my message because I wasn't conveying it in the right way was itself a form of discrimination.
Although it is not in the diagnostic criteria, another widely reported trait of my condition is a relentless commitment to justice, truth and transparency. That may sound grandiose but that doesn't make it less true. And the thing is, I'm much, much better at writing than I am in talking. And my emotions are no longer holding me back but powering me forward like rocket fuel. So watch this space.
Of course Sinead had every reason to be emotional and she was right. I wonder how many victims have suffered at the hands of Priests since that TV show when smug participants so casually dismissed this woman who was trying to convey a message everyone should have been listening to.
